[Friday Funny] Boys and Girls (and more)

[The Friday Funny]

Today's bit of nonsense, followed by an interesting follow-up I received to last week's 'Strange but True' (many thanks to Kit for these)...

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Boys and Girls
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"Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are created equal. But, boys and girls are not born the same.
   
1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.
   
2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your home to the church, even if you're driving there.
  
3. Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.
   
4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.
   
5. When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to tear off their appendages.
   
6. Boys couldn't care less if their hair is unruly. If their bangs got cut a quarter-inch too short, girls would rather lock themselves in their room for two weeks than be seen in public.
   
7. Baby girls find mommy's makeup and almost instintively start painting their face. Baby boys find mommy's makeup and almost instinctively start painting the walls.
   
8. If a girl accidently burps, she will be embarrassed. If a boy accidently burps, he will follow it with a dozen fake belches.
   
9. Boys grow their fingernails long because because they're too lazy to cut them. Girls grow their fingernails long - not because they look nice - but because they can dig them into a boys arm.
   
10. Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age. At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt.
   
11. By the age of 6, boys will stop giving their dad kisses. By the age of 6, girls will stop giving their dad kisses unless he bribes them with candy.
   
12. Most baby girls talk before boys do. Before boys talk, they learn how to make machine-gun noises.
   
13. Girls will cry if someone dies in a movie. Boys will cry if you turn off the VCR after they've watched "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie three times in a row.
   
14. Girls turn into women. Boys turn into bigger boys. 

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> 2.  A shark can detect one part of blood in 100 million parts of water.

Depends on the specie. That figure applies for killer sharks: for reef sharks (the ones most commonly dived with) it's more like 1 in 10M - but that can still be "smelled" at 1/2 km. Use waterproof plasters (not fabric ones) over cuts and grazes when diving with sharks!

What's reckoned to be the only sort of animal currently on the planet more unpredictable and more vicious than the sharks?

[Us.]

[Alligators, for example, are very predictable.]

[That's a routine part of pre-dive briefings for people who've never dived near sharks before.]

> 5.  The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.

And (unsurprisingly) the dash of a lower-case t or a lower-case f is a tattle.

> 19. Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.  Before the 1950's it was made from hemp, the stem and leaves of a marijuana plant.

That's US money. UK (paper) money is mainly a mix of paper and (Bodmin) china clay - the clay is what gives our money the unAmerican shine.

The Yanks expensively changed in the 1950s to try and keep the Southern US cotton trade in business [they failed, but didn't revert].

The old coarse brown sacks (both sides of the Atlantic) were made from hemp fibre (from the stems). Careless manufacture in the States left viable seed clinging to the sacks: moving them by train spread the seeds along railway verges: especially donkeys liked to eat the resulting plants, hence "to go/be loco" in US slang, also m being known as "loco-weed". 

> 24. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.

Either way round.

Also draw (different things) with both hands at the same time, or write (different things) with both hands at the same time. But he most commonly did write+draw, to illustrate and write about the same thing efficiently.

But whenever he wrote with his left hand (no matter what he was doing with the right) his left-hand-writing came out mirror image. This "sinstra" capability got him in trouble with the Inquisition.


> 56. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
>     ...
>     Diamonds  -  Julius Caesar.

Neither a King, nor an Emperor - merely a Dictator.

-- 
Peter SJF Bance
http://www.minstrel.org.uk/
XMPP: GreyMinstrel at jabber.org | AIM: GreyMinstrel
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