[Friday Funny] Random Worries

[The Friday Funny]

Sorry for the tardiness this week, but to make up for it we have a hand-crafted original, out of the mind of the good lady wife...!

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Random worries when you're trying to sleep

* Why do people keep hassling me at work? I’m going to carry two sacks 
around tomorrow. Then, when someone says, “Can you give me a hand?” I 
can say, “Sorry, got these sacks.”

* Right, let’s go through the ‘Grudges to Settle’ list one more time…

* Perhaps I shouldn’t have told the interviewer that I couldn’t wait to 
blog about the job?

* What if I’m a fictional character?

* Why do my thoughts sound like the voice of Skeletor right now? Is that 
you again, Evil Me?

* Ah. It seems the recommended intake of eight glasses of water per day 
shouldn’t all be drunk just before bedtime. Do I try to make it to the 
bathroom, or would it be dangerous to move right now?

* Hmm. Maybe I'll let the neighbours go free tomorrow.

* Is the footage of that Yes keyboard solo going to finish uploading today?

* Did I turn off the TV after I watched that video from The Ring? I'm 
sure I can hear white noise...

* I wonder how Amy Winehouse is doing.

* Those war crimes are going to catch up with me sooner or later...

* If ‘42’ is the answer to life, the universe and everything, perhaps it 
would help to understand ‘everything’ if we broke that word down. 
Basically, it’s made up of ‘ever’ and ‘ything’. Nope, still doesn’t make 
sense.

* I shouldn’t laugh when children fall over. Think of all the ants they 
might have just killed.

* Why does Diane in Accounts have a wax doll on her desk that looks like me?

* I can't sleep now. I need to go and blog about that cup of tea I just 
had. It was slightly stronger than the one I drank earlier...

* Are extra terrestrials having fun destroying the world and mocking us 
at the same time by taking it in turns to be US president under the same 
name?

* Perhaps it was bad of me to take the children to that burned-out 
warehouse and say, “Oh no! Disneyland burned down!”

* Wish I hadn't decided to take the sleeping pills as well as the 
laxative...

* Hey, I could save trees if I switch to paperless death threats.

* Am I awake, or just dreaming that I am?

* I now regret the operation to have my eyelids removed.

* If we create a world without war and hate, aliens will attack because 
we wouldn’t be expecting it.

* Still can’t remember where I put the baby…

* I didn’t manage to shame anyone today. What’s wrong with me?

* If trees could scream, would we still carry on cutting them down? We 
might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

* If life flashes before our eyes before we die, do we see everything to 
the point of the flashback and then have the flashback again, so we get 
stuck in an infinite loop?

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And finally:

50 office-speak phrases you love to hate

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7457287.stm

-- 
Peter SJF Bance
http://www.minstrel.org.uk/
XMPP: GreyMinstrel at jabber.org | AIM: GreyMinstrel
MSN: Minstrel at minstrel.org.uk | ICQ: 254652398