[Friday Funny] Classy Put-down Lines

[The Friday Funny]

"He had delusions of adequacy." 
- Walter Kerr
 
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."  
- Winston Churchill
 
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."  
- Clarence Darrow
 
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."  
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
 
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."  
- Moses Hadas
 
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."  
- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde
 
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one."  
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.
 
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness.  Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb
 
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson
 
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating
 
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand
 
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.."
- Forrest Tucker 

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain
 
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West
 
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde
 
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
 
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx 

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
- Jack E. Leonard 

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
- Robert Redford 
 
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
- Thomas Brackett Reed 

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
- Billy Wilder 

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
- Abraham Lincoln 
 
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
- Winston Churchill 

An exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
 
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress." 

And finally, you really need to see this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EYAUazLI9k&annotation_id=annotation_72265&feature=iv

-- 
Peter SJF Bance
http://www.minstrel.org.uk/
XMPP: GreyMinstrel at jabber.org | AIM: GreyMinstrel
MSN: Minstrel at minstrel.org.uk | ICQ: 254652398